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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28241274">Dream SMP text fic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Banter, Discord - Freeform, Fluff, Funny, Humor, Its literally just a text fic what more do you want from me, Minecraft, Texting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:40:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28241274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm bored so I wrote out some bad jokes as if it were the dream smp discord (as if I know what it looks like). Its better than I'm making it sound I promise.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Fanfic Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dream SMP text fic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This technically is in the same universe as my other anon fic, Bit Sad, Innit? But it also has nothing to do with that fic so take that information as you will</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;Dream SMP</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#general-one-(1)</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Chat away to your heart's content </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Sending the-kiddie-table a kiddie table every day Day 87: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Table-Childrens-Tables-Chairs-Withstand/dp/B07PSBWHK7"> https://www.amazon.com/Table-Childrens-Tables-Chairs-Withstand/dp/B07PSBWHK7 </a> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>I hate to say this but wrong chat mate</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Quackity </b>
</p><p>Day WHAT NOW</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Punz </b>
</p><p>Oh my god</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Oh! Uh</p><p>My mistake </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Quackity </b>
</p><p>NO WAIT IS THIS A THING YOU'VE BEEN DOING DAILY?????</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>I mean yeah</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sam</b>
</p><p>For <em> 3 months? </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Yes???</p><p>It's called "the kiddie table" what else was I supposed to do</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>I will say that this one looks particularly fancy with its side pockets and everything. I like it</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Yeah this is all my phone is advertising to me these days haha</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Puffy</b>
</p><p>Every day I live in fear of the minors only channel</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dream</b>
</p><p>It's mostly just Tubbo's tables at this point actually </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>How do you know this???</p><p>Youre right but <em> how </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dream</b>
</p><p>I own the server, dude</p><p>I have access to all the channels</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>AHHHH</p><p>STALKAR MUCH????!??!?????!??!??????</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dream</b>
</p><p>Somebody has to babysit you guys! Just saying</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>WERE NOT BABIES FUCK YOJ</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>resident Australian </b>
</p><p>Nah you really are</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>&gt;:(</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>resident Australian</b>
</p><p>Case in point</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#the-kiddie-table</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Imagine being under the age of 18 smh couldnt be me </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>My grandma is making me make sweet potato pie for Christmas because I am a "good baker" or some shit despite the fact that that is most definitely not true</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!!1!</b>
</p><p>That sounds disgusting </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Its actually pretty good! When I'm not the one making it tho</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>Also the fuck is a sweet potatat</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>purble d</b>
</p><p>sweet potatat</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>sweet potatat</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Sweet potatat</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>SHUT YP </p><p> </p><p><b>purble d</b> </p><p>I could do this all day little man</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#adulting-(NO-KIDS-ALLOWED!!1!1)</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Respectable and mature conversations ONLY! Tommy isnt in here so make the most of it </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxes taxe </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Connar PANT</b>
</p><p>What… is a penis??</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>Just because you keep asking us this doesnt mean we're ever going to answer</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>President Schlatt</b>
</p><p>Actually no no wait I'm also curious</p><p>What <em> is </em>a penis???? Nobody's ever told me the specifics</p><p>The American school system sucks when it comes to sex ed</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Connar PANT</b>
</p><p>Thank you exactly!!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>GOGY</b>
</p><p>Look down you idiots</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Connar PANT</b>
</p><p>GASO</p><p>GASP</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>President Schlatt</b>
</p><p>AHHH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Karllll</b>
</p><p>Are neither of you wearing pants??? I'm</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Connar PANT </b>
</p><p>I eat pants for a living how could you forget this</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Quackity </b>
</p><p>Also Its schaltt. idk what you expected </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Karllll</b>
</p><p>Ah touché </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#SMP-general</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Minecraft babeyyyy </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>It has come to my attention that not everyone has seen my new tower!! CAST YOUR GAZE UPON IT AND COWER IN FEAR </p><p>[Image attachment: A screenshot of minecraft. It shows tommy facing the camera standing in front of the base of his new cobblestone tower. It is snowing.]</p><p>[Image attachment: A screenshot of minecraft. The camera angles up, showing the top of the cobblestone tower high above. It is snowing, partially obscuring the view.]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The Blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>I've already told you it looks terrible, nobody wants to see it</p><p>Impressed by your diction though, good job</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>GOGY</b>
</p><p>Oh yeah no that looks like shit lmao</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Fundy (NOT furry)</b>
</p><p>HAHA</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Wow today really is just tommy's day to get cyberbullied isnt it</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>every day is my day to get cyberbullied, I accepted this long ago</p><p>It's why I must cyberbully everyone else first, so that the pain doesnt show</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>… That got worryingly deep for a second </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>I could make an inappropriate joke here but I'm choosing not to because I have grown as a person</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>Good. Dont.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>I JUST SAID I WOULDN'T </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>THATS WHY I SAID GOOD YOU CHILD</p><p>Horrible tower by the way. Love it</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#general-dos-(two)-(2)</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Chatting 2 electric boogaloo </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>How many gummy worms is too many gummy worms</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sam</b>
</p><p>What have you done</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Too many gummy worms</p><p>My tongue hurts</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Why would your tongue hurt?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Bc gummy worms have the weird sour dust on them?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>The what?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>You know</p><p>The stuff on sour patch kids and stuff</p><p>Its sweeter/less sour on gummy worms but it still hurts after a while</p><p>I've also got a stomach ache</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Oh <em> that </em> stuff, ok!</p><p>Why is it on gummy worms?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Karlll</b>
</p><p>This is honestly the most engaging conversation I've seen in here in months</p><p>Please Ranboo, tell us why theres sour dust on gummy worms</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Idk I dont work here</p><p>It makes it taste good?? Makes me eat too many gummy worms</p><p>Addicted to the dust</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>purble d</b>
</p><p>Addicted to the worm</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Addicted to the worm</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#memes</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> This channel has no description. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>[Image description: [Insert generic twitter meme here]]</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>HBomb</b>
</p><p>Hmm. That one's a good 3.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Fundy (NOT furry)</b>
</p><p>Is this the only channel you have unmuted??? Just so you can rate everyone's memes?</p><p>I only ever see you type in here</p><p> </p><p><b>HBomb</b> </p><p>Perhaps. What's it to you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Three out of what?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Fundy (NOT furry)</b>
</p><p>No dont bait him tubbo</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>HBomb</b>
</p><p>I'm feeling generous today, its out of five</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>:D</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>Oh my god</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>GIVEBHIM MORE HE DESERVES IT</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>HBomb</b>
</p><p>Keep yelling and I'll bump it down to 2.5</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>no wait</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>HBomb</b>
</p><p>Ha</p><p>That's what I thought</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>I will destroy your minecraft farm 😠</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dream</b>
</p><p>You wouldnt</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>I would!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Please don't </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1! </b>
</p><p>Ok I wont</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>SIMP</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>IM NIT A SINO SHUT UP</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>sino lmao</p><p>nit</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>You dont have to point out ever typo I make ya know</p><p>I will destroy YOUR minecraft farm</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>Well I wouldnt if it wasnt so easy</p><p>Also I dont have a farm</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>I will make you one just so I can destroy it</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>SapSap</b>
</p><p>I actually calculated it once! Based on this server alone, tommy makes on average 8.39 typos a day</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>,, what the actual fuck dude</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>OH MY GOD LMAO</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>SapSap</b>
</p><p>Though that might have increased since I did the experiment</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Quackity</b>
</p><p>Why would you voluntarily do math</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>SapSap</b>
</p><p>I wanted to prove a point</p><p>Which I did :)</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>GENUINELY shut the fuck ut</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>ut</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#general-drie-(tres)-(three)-(3)</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Do we even need a third general like actually </em>
</p><p>
  <em> George says yes so 😁 Dream please speed run shutting the heck up </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The Blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>How and why do Monsters stay cold for that long</p><p>I'm holding one now that I got out of my fridge like half an hour ago and it's <em> still </em> freezing like. <em> How??? </em>How</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>Monsters??</p><p>Oh energy drinks nvm I'm tired I just woke up</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Niki &lt;3</b>
</p><p>What time is it for you, Techno?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The Blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>Like 3:34 am but that's besides the point</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Fundy</b>
</p><p>Is this healthy???? Why are you drinking monster at 3 in the morning?????</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Phil</b>
</p><p>It absolutely is not healthy oh my god</p><p>Techno go to bed</p><p>Wil you need to get a better sleep schedule too</p><p> </p><p>|<em> Is this healthy???? Why are you drinking mons… </em></p><p>
  <b>The Blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>Because it's good and I'm an adult which means I can do what I want. Get off my back</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wilbur</b>
</p><p>What are you talking about, almost noon is a perfectly reasonable time to wake up</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The Blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>I second that</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Phil</b>
</p><p>I dont think either of you get a say in the matter</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Skep pee</b>
</p><p>Well I mean it's their own sleeping schedules, so I think they do</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Phil</b>
</p><p>WHY ARE YOU ALSO UP</p><p>AND ON THEIR SIDE </p><p>ARGH</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Fundy (NOT furry)</b>
</p><p>Americans go to bed challenge (harder than it looks!!) </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The Blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>Nobody answered my question btw. Why are monsters so cold</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>The chemical </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The Blade (RETIRED)</b>
</p><p>This answers nothing, thank you</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#L'manburg</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Planning for plot or a place to practice roleplay. Mute if you don't want spoilers </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>Ok so I was thinking</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>Bad idea</p><p>Don't</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>Damn ok</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#DREAM</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> Planning for plot or a place to practice roleplay. Mute if you don't want spoilers </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>Ok so I was thinking</p><p>Dream and my knights please back me up here</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dream</b>
</p><p>Ok..</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>I'm the king, right?</p><p>So I can demand taxes</p><p>Specifically demand taxes from L'manburg </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Puffy</b>
</p><p>Sounds fun let's go</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sam </b>
</p><p>I dont think you guys can do that?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>But sam you must understand!</p><p>I need cash money</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tubbee</b>
</p><p>Well if you need cash money then by all means!</p><p>I'm kidding please dont hurt us</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>I ALREADY SAID BAD IDEA</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Puffy</b>
</p><p>You dont even live there anymore, this wouldnt affect you</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tommy!!!1!</b>
</p><p>dont mean I can't pitch a fit about it though</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>King Eret 👑</b>
</p><p>I expected nothing less</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>&gt;&gt;#the-kiddie-table</b> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ranboo</b>
</p><p>Update: I have burnt the pie</p><p>Got distracted eating gummy worms</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I tried to make everyone's usernames pretty obvious but if you have any questions about anyone, dont hesitate to ask</p><p>I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos appreciated :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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